TUESDAY, OCT. 15, 10AM – 5PM
AUDITIONS for Roles in
A CHRISTMAS CAROL (Production in Dec.)
& HEELS OVER HEAD (Spring).
An OPEN call for Equity &
non union professional actors
will be held at the Performing Arts Center
Sussex County Community College
1 College Hill Rd, Newton, NJ 07860.
– Looking for men & women, 20 to 40–
CHRISTMAS CAROL: 2 women, 3 men–20-40– wide character range
(multiple roles-Dickensian characters, ) good comic and dramatic sense
good movement(some dance and singing,) American and British dialects,
good story-telling…..(Scrooge is cast.) SIDES FOR AUDITION BELOW.
AEA Stage manager position available for
A Christmas Carol. E mail email@example.com asap.
HEELS OVER HEAD: A new play by Susan Goodell, 3 men & 3 women, late 20s – early 30s,
strong comic & dramatic sense, wide range. SIDES FOR AUDITION BELOW.
Paul Meacham and Patricia Durante will conduct the auditions and interviews.
Equity SPT Level 1 Pending
For Equity & Non-Equity Professional Actors–
DIRECTIONS: Go to drop-down Menu: “Contact”…Theatre is accessible from NYC.
Sides for A CHRISTMAS CAROL are below –sides for HEELS OVER HEAD are below.
A CHRISTMAS CAROL:
ACTOR 1–female, plays mostly younger characters.
Belle (young woman in love with Scrooge)–
Scrooge– Have I ever sought release?
Belle: In words, never ….. In a changed nature; in an altered spirit; in another atmosphere of live; in everything that made our love of any worth or value in your sight . . . if this had never been between us–would you seek me out try to win me now? (Silence) Ah, no! …. I would gladly think otherwise if I could. Heaven knows! But if you were free today, tomorrow, and yesterday, can I believe that you would choose a penniless girl–you who weigh everything by gain? Or, choosing her, if for a moment you were false enough to your one guiding principle to do so, do I not know that your repentance, and regret would surely follow? I do; and I release you . . . with a full heart for the love of him, who you once were. You may have pain in this– a very, very brief time; then you will dismiss the recollection of it gladly, as an unprofitable dream, from which it happened weel that you awoke. May you be happy in the life you have chosen!
Fan: Dear, dear brother! Oh, dear brother, I have come to bring you home. To bring you home, home, home! . . . .Yes! Home for good and all. Home forever and ever. Father is so much kinder than he used to be, that home’s like heaven! He spoke so gently to me one dear night when I was going to bed, that I was not afraid to ask him once more if you might come; and he said yes, you should; and sent me in a coach to bring you — and you’re to be a man! And are never to come back here . . . but first we’re to be together all the Christmas long, and have the merriest time in all the world!
Actor 1: Scrooge took his melancholy dinner in his usual melancholy tavern; and having read all the newspapers, and beguiled the rest of the evening with his banker’s book, went home to bed. He lived in chambers, which hed once belonged to his deceased partner, The fog and frost so hung abot the black old gateway of the house, that it seemed as if the Genius of the Weather sat in mournful meditation on the threshold.
Actor 2–female, plays various roles.
Ghost of Christmas Past: I am the Ghost of Christmas Past.
Scrooge: Long Past?
CP: No. Your past.
S: What business has brought you here?
CP: Your welfare!
S: Well, I am much obliged, but cannot help thinking that a night of unbroken rest would have been more conducive to that end.
CP: Your reclamation then. Take heed! Rise! And walk with me!
S: The weather! . . . the hour! . . . my . . . my. . . night cap! — I am mortal!
CP: Bear but a touch of my hand there, and you shall be upheld in more than this!
Actor 2: Once upon a time…of all the good days in the year, on Christmas Eve–old Scrooge sat busy in his counting house. It was cold, bleak, biting weather; and he could hear the people in the court outside go wheezing up and down, beating their hands upon their breasts, and stamping their feet upon the pavement stones to warm them.(Clock Tower sounds “3”.) The city clocks had only just gone three, but it was quite dark already–it had not been light all day–The fog came pouring in at every chink and keyhole, and was so dense without, that, the houses opposite were mere phantoms.
–MRS. CRATCHIT; The founder of the Feast, indeed! I wish I had him here. I’d give him a piece of my mind to feast upon, and I hope he’d have a good appetite for it.
BOB CRATCHIT: My dear, the children! Christmas Day.
MRS. C : It should be Christmas Day, I am sure, on which one drinks the health of such an obvious, stingy, hard, unfeeling man as Mr. Scrooge. You know he is, Robert! Nobody
B C: My dear! Christmas Day.
MRS. C: I’ll drink his health for your sake and the Day’s—not for his—long life to him! A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! He’ll be very merry and very happy, I have no doubt!
Actor 3– male, Plays mostly younger characters.
BELLE: It matters little–to you, a very little. Another idol has displaced me; and, if it can cheer and comfort you in time to come as I would have no just cause to grieve.
YOUNG SCROOGE: What idol has replaced you?
B: A golden one.
Y S: This is the even-handed dealing of a the world! There is nothing on which it is so hard as poverty; and there is nothing it professes to condemn with such severity as the pursuit of wealth!
B: You fear the world too much. I have seen your nobler aspirations fall off one by one, until the master passion, Gain, consumes you . . . Have I not?
YS: What then? Even if I have grown so much wiser, what then? I am not changed towards you . . . Am I?
B: Our contract is an old one. It was made when we were both poor and content to be so–when it was made, you were another man.
Y S: I was a boy.
ACTOR 3-TINY TIM
–he hoped the people saw him in the church, because he was a cripple, and it might be pleasant to them to remember upon Christmas Day who made lame beggars walk and blind men see.
…………. Suppose somebody should have got over the wall and stolen it!
…………. But nobody said or thought it was a small pudding for a large family!
…………. God bless us every one!
ACTOR 3: And now, without a word of warning from the Ghost, they stood upon a bleak and desert moor, where monstrous masses of rude stone were cast about, as though it were the burial-place of giants.
Actor 4– male, plays various roles–Marley, Bob Cratchit, & others.
MARLEY: Business! Mankind was my business. The common welfare was my business; charity, mercy, benevolence were all my business. The dealings of my trade were but a drop of water in the ocean of my business! Why did I walk through crowds of fellow-beings with my eyes turned down, and never raise them to that blessed Star , which led the Wise Men to a stable? Were there no poor homes to which its light would have conducted me?. . . (Thunder) HEAR ME! My time is nearly gone.
ACTOR 4: Again Scrooge saw himself. He was older now—A man in the prime of life. His face had not the harsh and rigid lines of later life; but had begun to wear the signs of care and avarice. There was an eager, greedy, restless motion in the eye, which showed the passion that had taken root.
BOB CRATCHIT: ‘Yes, my dear. I wish you could have gone. It would have done you good to see how green a place it is. But you’ll see it often. I promised him that I would walk there on a Sunday. My little, little child! My little child!
MARTHA: They drew near the fire, and talked, the girls and mother working still. Bob told them of the extraordinary kindness of Mr. Scrooge’s nephew, who meeting him in the street that day, inquired what had happened to distress him.
B C: He is the pleasantest-spoken gentleman you ever heard…“I am heartily sorry for it, Mr. Cratchit, and heartily sorry for your good wife.” How he ever knew that I don’t know.
MRS. C: Knew what, my dear?
B C: Why, that you were a good wife.
PETER: Everybody knows that.
BC: Very well observed, my boy! I hope they do. “Heartily sorry, he said, “for your good wife. If I can be of service to you in any way,” he said, giving me his card, “that’s where I live; pray come to me.” It really seemed as if he had known our Tiny Tim, and felt with us.
Actor 5–Male, plays various roles, including Fred & Ghost of Christmas Present.
ACTOR 5: Of course he did. How could it be otherwise? Scrooge and he were partners for I don’t know how many years. Scrooge was his sole executor, his sole administrator, his sole assign, his sole friend and…sole mourner. And even Scrooge was not so dreadfully cut up by the sad event, but that he was an excellent man of business on the very day of the funeral, and solemnized it with an undoubted bargain.
FRED: There are many things from which I might have derived good, by which I have not profited, I dare say—Christmas among the rest. But I am sure I have always thought of Christmas-time, when it has come round, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time; the only time I know of in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow-passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. And therefore, Uncle, though it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe that it has done me good and will do me good; and I say, God bless it!
I see a vacant seat in the poor chimney corner, and a crutch without an owner, carefully preserved. If these shadows remain unaltered by the future, the child will die. ….If these shadows remain unaltered by the future none other of my race will find him here. What then? If he be like to die, he had better do it, and decrease the surplus population.(Scrooge overcome with penitence and grief.) Man, if man you be in heart, forbear that wicked cant until you have discovered what the surplus is, and where it is. Will you decide what men shall live, what men shall die? It may be that, in the sight of Heaven, you are more worthless and less fit to live than millions like this poor man’s child.
HEELS OVER HEAD, a New Play by Susan Goodell
(A bridge, which is the location for the Bungee Jumping for Singles weekend. JAKE and LUNA wait in line as LUNA
stares ahead, engaged in trance-like mental preparation. Her mood continues between speeches into the scene.
JAKE notices LUNA and approaches her, looking her over obnoxiously.)
JAKE. So hi.
LUNA. (Meditating.) Mmm. (Turns away.)
JAKE. Why are you at a Bungee Jumping for Singles weekend if you’re so unfriendly?
LUNA. (She continues staring, concentrating until he moves closely enough in to make her
uncomfortable.) Daring to dare.
LUNA. (Still meditating, resisting conversation.) Watching myself fly.
JAKE. Why are you doing…whatever you think you’re doing?
LUNA. (Annoyed, breaks out of trance.) Testing myself. (He’s proximity forces more information
from her.) A television program. Inspired me. We should all stretch our limits. We can take control
and change our lives. (Returns to meditating and ignoring him.)
JAKE. A bungee jump is going to change your life? (She responds to, then ignores the provocation.
JAKE pretends to “read her.”) You just broke up with your boyfriend. When a chick changes her life,
she’s recovering from some jerk. (LUNA’s face shows he’s correct.) Don’t tell me. Your ex was Mr.
Wall Street. He has perfect hair and wears a coat and tie in the shower.
LUNA. He has nice hair. But you are wrong, wrong. I dumped him.
JAKE. You have that “I’m-going-to-hit-the-next-guy-who’s-nice-to-me-though-I’m-over-him really”
look on your face.
LUNA. Now I really need to meditate. (Returns to concentrating.)
JAKE. (Mock drama.) Get ready for your life to change. (Referring to wait.) Just a few minutes more.
LUNA. (Feeling superior.) Tell me the reason you’re here.
JAKE. Um. Things I’m facing. OK, fears, I’m facing fears. Never mind. One more couple ahead of us, then our turn
LUNA. Though some people’s lives never change no matter what they do.
JAKE. I was about to ask for your phone number, but you’re not here to meet people. I’m Jake.
Not that it makes a difference, since you’ll never see me again.
LUNA. That’s nice.
JAKE. Since we’re jumping together can I at least get your name?
LUNA. Luna. (Expects ridicule.) Don’t say anything. (They hook up rigs.) Since you’re ready to
face your fears, I’ll count to three.
JAKE. When you’re ready to change your life I’ll count to four. One, two. I wasn’t breathing
right. Start again. One, two. It’s better to count to five.
LUNA. (Annoyed) Or five thousand.
JAKE. (Annoyed.) One, two, three, four, five.
MARI, LUNA JAKE
JAKE. What am I eating again?
LUNA. This is lentil curry, or dal, this is lamb curry, this is Murg Tikka. And of course, basmati rice. How do you like it?
JAKE. A shock after my bologna diet—
LUNA. If I find any good bologna recipes—
MARI. What are you talking about?
JAKE. My roommate and I are major bologna consumers.
LUNA. I’ve learned there are many extreme styles out there.
JAKE. I’m curious. Did you buy these food items from a list or were they an impulse purchase?
LUNA. I planned it.
MARI. I never plan anything.
JAKE. Shoppers who purchase impulsively are termed “hedonistic buyers.”
MARI. In fact, I never know what I’m going to do next or sometimes even who I’m going to be.
LUNA. What Mari said doesn’t mean anything. (To MARI.) Please, control—
MARI. I’m settled down. I’ve been just Mari for how long now? Do we want tea?
JAKE. I don’t know. Everything is so foreign.
MARI. We have white, green, oolong, puerh, roiboos, mate, jasmine, Assam…
JAKE. You’re still talking about tea?
MARI. Technically, some are herbs. (Continues with list.) Sencha, Darjeeling first flush. Helps me control—
JAKE. Oh, specialty teas. The market for them is growing at an annual rate of eight to ten percent.
(Wakes up) What do you control?
MARI. You know. When I decide to be different—
LUNA. (To Mari) But you’re controlling that.
JAKE. Different identities? How does that work?
MARI. When I try on different personalities.
LUNA. Technically, not multiple personality disorder because she controls it when she wants.
MARI. I like to turn into different people sometimes.
LUNA. Once a therapist told her—
MARI. I use it to avoid responsibility. Wrong. I always found –
LUNA. A wide range of employment. Though now you have your business you settled down—
MARI. I did?
LUNA.(To JAKE.) If she does come home as someone else she’s usually over it the next morning.
MARI. Though one time I was missing for three weeks. I came home in a G-string with a flyer in my hand from
the Pleasure Island Club. I’ve come home in some great outfits.
JAKE. (To LUNA.) Pleasure Island? That’s not your business—
MARI. Only a few days.
JAKE. You don’t have different personalities? This isn’t a shared trait?
LUNA. I will never turn into someone else on you.
MARI. But she’s saying that I might.
JAKE. (Rises and paces.) This isn’t anything dangerous?
LUNA. Oh no.
MARI. Luna has some trouble with my bitchy personality Clementine.
JAKE. Clementine isn’t a good name for a bitchy personality.
LUNA. That’s what I told her. She hasn’t been Clementine in quite a while.
MARI. Don’t be frightened. I’m very gentle people. (Menacing.) Usually.
LUNA. Interesting people too. Though now that you’re settled down in business—
JAKE. Your psychic business?
LUNA. She counsels people. By telephone.
MARI. That’s my business. He can’t get visions, can he?
JAKE. I did, one time.
LUNA. About something we already knew.
MARI. That doesn’t count.
JAKE. I never thought someone could run a psychic business.
LUNA. Her service is new and struggling.
MARI. I predicted that when I started it.
JAKE. You need a marketing plan to target your consumer.
LUNA. Jake is very smart, isn’t he? (MARI puts index finger on forehead.)
JAKE. I meant through advertising.
MARI. Not the way I would do it. But still love the fontoon in it—
LUNA. She means karma. Mari sometimes has her own—
MARI. Language, you’re telling him. No I don’t. It’s in the lopsa.
LUNA. Universe, she probably means.
JAKE. We don’t have to chant with you or anything?
MARI. Course not. Lopsa is never chanted.
BLOSSOM. How well do you know Computer Guy?
LUNA. I know his name.
BLOSSOM. A knot of complicated phobias.
LUNA. Not my Jake. (To STAN)
STAN. He has so many sides, no one can keep up.
BLOSSOM. Computer Guy gets delirious with dinophobia—
STAN. No. The phronemophobia made him delirious the—
LUNA. (Skeptical) I don’t know any of this.
STAN. The dinophobia just made him quiet.
LUNA. I can’t keep track.
BLOSSOM. Computer Guy told me—
LUNA. Jake! It’s Jake.
BLOSSOM. Why are you in my house?
LUNA. She’s making this up!
STAN. (Fighting drives STAN crazy.) Just stop. Ladies.
BLOSSOM. In full dinophobia, he contacts his support group and–
LUNA. What does Jake say? Jake? (JAKE curls up.)
STAN. This isn’t his usual dinophobia.
BLOSSOM. OK. Maybe I gave him something to drink.
STAN. Like what.
BLOSSOM. A drink with a little rum.
STAN. A little rum wouldn’t make him—
BLOSSOM. (Anxiously) He comes over panicked, dinophobia. Or another phobia even harder to
pronounce. I give him… maybe three shots…. a mermaid charm… Until he falls over.
(JAKE, LUNA, and STAN are in the men’s apartment around the dinner table. They’ve added another chair.
JAKE and LUNA stop occasionally to hold hands. The sister’s apartment and MARI are visible in dim light.)
LUNA. This is what you eat? Baloney sandwiches?
STAN. When we want a balanced diet. Other nights it’s jelly out of the jar.
LUNA. Not even peanut butter?
STAN. (Something is wrong.) Don’t say peanut butter!
JAKE. (Threat is over.) Just jelly.
LUNA. How about a nice salad? (STAN looks wearily at JAKE)
STAN. Why do chicks call it a ‘nice’ salad? How can lettuce be, nice?
JAKE. (To LUNA.) Salad is forbidden in our place.
LUNA. Dear, what do you have against salad?
STAN. They cook for you, and in minutes they start calling you “dear.”
LUNA. Is he psychic?
JAKE. (To LUNA.) No! Luna. Please understand Stan.
STAN. Don’t say that. Whatever you do. Don’t “understand” me.
JAKE. Stan has a philosophy—
STAN. First “nice” salad, then here comes the lasagna.
LUNA. I can make that. Would you like…he sounds psychic.
STAN. Just as I predicted.
LUNA. What is wrong?
JAKE. Stan has… his philosophy. Never eat—
STAN. Anything that comes from a casserole dish.
LUNA. Why? You can do so many creative things with—
STAN. Please don’t say “do creative things.” We hate “creative” food.
JAKE. (Senses disaster coming, to LUNA.) Bad thing to say here.
LUNA. What can I talk about then? I hoped to make you a nice dinner. (Men make faces that LUNA notices.)
LUNA (CONT) It’s a habit, I call food, “nice.” I’ll try not to say—
JAKE. Stan hates it when chicks–
STAN. She invites you home, makes a casserole, and what started as a hot date leads to the department
store placemat section. Deciding between the stripes and the flowers.
LUNA. Florals are always cute. (Men make faces, which LUNA notices.)
JAKE. Try not to use the word—“florals.” Stan says—
STAN. Or worse, cute!
LUNA. Does he have a phobia?
STAN. (To JAKE.) You have a phobia. I have a philosophy.
LUNA. Doesn’t sound like a philosophy. Maybe desensitization—
STAN. (Abhorrent) If she talks about “little yellow rosebuds”–
LUNA. I love– (Catches on.) Never mind.
JAKE. Stan’s philosophy hates anything domestic.
LUNA. That’s why you have so little furniture. That’s a philosophy? Like existential—
STAN. Oh, the way chicks criticize.
LUNA. Look, I’m really very nice, I mean, I’m trying. If you can meet me halfway.
(Men make faces that LUNA notices.)
LUNA. What did I say now?
JAKE. Stan hates comforting.
LUNA. The word “nice” is difficult to avoid using.
STAN. Don’t give me sentiment, greeting cards, and especially cute sayings, OK?
LUNA. Would make it difficult to get along with women.
STAN. At least she gets that.
JAKE. He avoids any relationship with a chick lasting more than a few hours.
STAN. Though for those few hours, they’re completely in love.
LUNA. (To STAN.) Oh. You’re one of those extreme males. (To JAKE) But you’re not, are you?
I imagined your best friend would be a math teacher, not an extreme—
STAN. I don’t understand a thing she says. (To JAKE.) I understand everything you say, but—
JAKE. Since second grade.
STAN. Everything, until she came along. Night howlers forever. (Howls.)
JAKE. (Howls.) Right.
LUNA. Was that a howl?
STAN. Hey, I showed you how to meet girls.
JAKE. I had a master teacher, hey.
STAN. Jake’s never-fail pick-up technique? Came from me.
LUNA. What pickup technique? That was some “technique” you used to meet me?
JAKE. Did you know that shoppers in the Northeast purchased double the national average of iced tea mixes,
while consumers in the West bought nearly that amount in pickled peppers?
LUNA. Did you just change the subject?
STAN. Spread your goodness around. Keep them begging. (Howls.)
(BLOSSOM and MARVIN enter, almost dancing.)
MARVIN. To JAKE) We came to say hello and goodbye.
BLOSSOM. Much more than hello and goodbye. Tell them.
MARVIN. After we left last night, we started talking, and to make a long story short,
it’s day time and the night still isn’t over, if you know what I mean.
BLOSSOM. We start dancing. Haven’t let go of each other since.
MARVIN. So now we’re taking a trip.
BLOSSOM. No plans. Except filling the car with gas and heading off.
MARVIN. Without my cell phone. This lady is so good for me.
BLOSSOM. Oh Marvin. (They squeeze hands.)
MARVIN. You know Blossom is a securities attorney? And she tells me—
BLOSSOM. Though it’s so dreary discussing wire fraud and conspiracy issues.
MARVIN. Now that’s a great lawyer.
BLOSSOM. Anyway, my panic…whatever it was… when I was… out of my mind…probably….
Anyway, with Marvin… … your sister…nothing but supported…whatever I did … I feel good now..
ACTORS WHO ARE UNABLE TO ATTEND AUDITIONS PLEASE SUBMIT HEADSHOTS AND RESUMES IMMEDIATELY TO:
TRI-STATE ACTORS THEATER
PO BOX 9
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